My Testimony

My Testimony - Part 3 The Deaf & Dumb Spirit

So as I was saying, I was 22 when I first learned from my mum, that she also always believed that my particular seizures were of a spiritual nature. Going back to my very first seizure, my mum recalled the details as she re-enacted them to me.  She proceeded to tell me how I had come through the hallway door into the living room with all 4 limbs twisted, my face was a purply-blue and I was foaming at the mouth. With eyes full of terror, I managed to force out the word, "Muuuummm!" Mum came running to catch me as I collapsed and fell unconscious, while my Dad ran out the door to our local Marae to bring some Elders back to pray for me. While Mum waited patiently for Dad to return with some Elders, she decided to sing a song to calm her nerves. She said she didn't premeditate the song choice at all, that it was just the first song that came to her mind and it went like this:

"In the Name of Jesus
In the Name of Jesus
We Have the Victory
In the Name of Jesus
In the Name of Jesus
Demons will have to Flee"
 
As Mum finished singing the last sentence of this song she heard what she described as a large fist punching the ceiling. It absolutely terrified her at the time, but from that moment on my Mum was convinced that my seizures were a spiritual attack and she would go on to seek every means possible to get me healed, to no avail.  Some people might think it was unwise for my mum to tell me that she felt my seizures were spiritual, but she was only confirming, what I myself had believed my whole life.  So having my mum confirm my own feelings, was hugely validating.
 
You can probably imagine how hard it was for Mum to hear my testimony about God healing me after I swore at Him in anger, to stop doing this to me. It might be helpful if I explain what led up to this moment that I cried out to God in such a contemptable way.  I'd had a seizure the night before and had collapsed, hitting my face on an old-fashioned typewriter that sat on a little table by my bedroom door.  It was very common for me to spend most of the following day after a seizure, sleeping.  I was asleep on the couch the next morning, when my mum awoke me to say she wouldn't be long, she was just dropping my little brother and sister off at school.  Without any concern I fell back to sleep.  A little while later I awoke with the familiar feeling of numbness and tingling around my mouth.  This was always the initial symptom that told me a seizure was starting.  I quickly got off the couch and became panicked as I realized my mum wasn't there to run to, as she had always been.  Quickly the seizure moved through out my whole body as I made my way to the kitchen bench and looked out the window at the blue sky.  In that moment, I thought about all of the times I had prayed to God as a child for healing, and all the good I had tried to do to get his approval but had never received healing.  That's when anger arose within me, and as embarrassed as I am to repeat it, I raised my fist to the sky with all my might and said, "Stop bleeping doing this to me!"

In that instant I felt a tingle surge down my spine as I felt the seizure leave my body.  I was completely stunned and amazed, and immediately began apologizing to God for swearing at Him, explaining that I was just scared.  My mum returned home to me excitedly telling her that God had healed me.  It was the last seizure that I ever had.

This was one of the most important experiences of my life, as it taught me so much about God that I didn't know and had never been taught. For example, I understood the Book of Job before I had ever read it, because I was made to live it to a certain degree first. It taught me how compassionate God really is, and that He doesn't despise the soul that sincerely seeks Him and needs answers from Him for life's hard questions.
 
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Psalms 51:17
 
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that comes to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6
 
And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth." Matthew 28:18